You might think what you say is most important in ministry, but what’s even more important is how you listen. When you truly listen, other people feel seen and heard, and they might even feel comfortable to share more.
Active listening is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal in ministering to others. Active listening is when you take in everything people are saying, have empathy, and make a point to learn how their experiences shape their perspective.
Dive in and discover how active listening lines up with Scripture and how it can transform your ministry.
The Bible tells us that the heart is where our thoughts, feelings, and experiences are processed. “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5). So, to truly understand and minister to someone, we must go beyond surface-level conversations. We need to draw out what is in their heart, which requires patience, empathy, and most importantly, active listening.
When you actively listen, you create a safe place for people to open up. They’ll feel respected and understood. This is so important in grief ministry because everyone grieves differently: Their experiences are never exactly the same. What’s helpful to one person may not be helpful at all to another.
By actively listening—and not thinking about what you’re going to say next or how you can be helpful—you can better understand and honor the unique aspects of someone’s loss and the pain it has caused.
The fact is, many people find silence uncomfortable. So they try to fill the void. (Maybe you can relate!) But Proverbs 18:13 says, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” This verse reminds us that quick responses, without fully trying to understand the other person’s intent or situation, can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for meaningful support.
In ministry, silence can be golden. Here’s why:
The goal in active listening is not just to learn information, but to connect on a deep level.
One of the key roles of a facilitator in a group setting is to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to share and be heard. It can be challenging to encourage productive listening when some individuals dominate the conversation or go off on tangents. In such cases, it’s important to gently steer the conversation back on track without dismissing the person’s contribution. (For instance, acknowledging that someone has made a valuable point before inviting others to speak can help balance the discussion and encourage quieter members to participate.)
Your goal is to create an environment where everyone is able to talk and everyone is also being introduced to the idea of being a good listener.
One idea is to share and establish guidelines with your group up front. Guidelines can cover things like being respectful of differences, letting everyone have a chance to share, maintaining confidentiality, listening when others are talking, offering advice only when asked, etc. You could even have your group sign an agreement to this effect.
Find more helpful strategies in the GriefShare LeaderZone (login required): When Your Group Has a Talker (or Two) and Group Guidelines Agreement.
Active listening is a vital skill in ministry and when leading a GriefShare group. It reflects how our Heavenly Father loves us, cares for us, and wants to have a relationship with us. “Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live” (Psalm 116:2).
Being an active listener shows respect and care for the other person’s pain, experiences, and emotions. It’s how you build trust and create a safe place for vulnerability. And in those vulnerable moments, healing can take place. As you lead your GriefShare group, embrace the silence, give thoughtful responses, and see how transformative listening and being present can be.