When you facilitate a small group, the dynamics will be different every time. This can pose some challenges. Maybe you have a quiet group that lapses into silence—a lot. Or talkative people who are difficult to rein in. What about people who go off on tangents that make others uncomfortable? And your group members will surely bring up difficult questions that they’re wrestling with!
The good news is there are strategies for dealing with these situations. With these tips, you can navigate common concerns and continue to lead engaging and impactful discussions in your GriefShare group.
Silence is not a bad thing; it can actually be helpful. But when your group is being particularly quiet, it’s helpful to openly acknowledge the situation. You might say, “I wonder if tonight’s topic is particularly challenging for everyone?” Asking this question:
Again, let participants know that silence is okay. Some people need to sit quietly with their thoughts and process what they are hearing. Your goal is for participants to begin to feel safe to express their feelings and experiences. Read more on the power of silence and active listening.
At times you’ll have a talkative group, and once they get going, they can take the conversation completely off-topic. Going off-topic is normal in any group, and it’s okay for this to happen. But at some point you’ll want to gently steer the conversation back to the main topic.
One way to reintroduce the topic is to ask how their current discussion might relate to it. Or, you could also step in and say how much you appreciate their willingness to share—and the support that you’re seeing in the group—and that you’re going to take this moment to get back to today’s discussion topic. These strategies can help your session stay productive and focused. See also Gently Steering the Conversation.
3. Assess moments of tension
Sometimes, you might notice tension within the group that isn’t being verbally expressed. It may be that people are uncomfortable with a particular topic, or it might be in response to a comment or opinion shared by other group members. When you notice this happening, you’ll want to assess whether the point of tension is something that should be addressed and explored, or whether it’s best to move on.
You could say to the group that you sense some tension and ask them to take a moment to try and identify the emotion that the topic or comment might have triggered in them. Is it causing feelings of anger? Anxiety? A different emotion?
Once they've thought about their emotions—and potentially shared—you can gauge whether it would be valuable to continue with this topic or move to something else. Some participants might be comfortable exploring the topic and their emotions further, but what’s most important is to respect the group’s overall comfort level.
If someone asks a difficult theological question or a question you aren’t sure how to respond to, be honest! It is okay to say “I don’t know, but I’ll try to point you in the right direction.” Here are some options for you:
Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers! Participants will appreciate your honesty, and it helps remind them that GriefShare is a safe place.
When a participant comes to you with a problem, you might want to try to fix it (especially if you have experience as a counselor or teacher!). Your role as a GriefShare leader is not to fix issues, but to come alongside people with compassion and care. You can gently guide them through their emotions and help them explore their grief in the light of faith, but you’re not there to provide solutions or counsel. You can also ask the rest of the group if they are struggling with this same issue and share what has worked for them.
Silence, tension, and hard questions will happen eventually in any GriefShare group. We hope these strategies help you feel more prepared to navigate the challenges and help you lead confidently. Remember that you can always contact a GriefShare ministry coach if you have any questions. And the GriefShare LeaderZone (login required) is filled with helpful strategies for facilitators: Helpful Hints for Leading Your Small Group.
Contact a coach today!