GriefShare Leaders

Your Role as a GriefShare Facilitator

Written by GriefShare | Mar 6, 2025 6:43:37 PM

Whether you are a new or seasoned GriefShare leader, you’ve probably encountered some awkward moments. How do I break this silence? They’ve been talking for a long time; is it okay to ask them to stop? Goodness, how can I get this conversation back on track? 

It happens to all of us! Let’s walk through some insights and strategies to help you lead your GriefShare group with confidence and ease.

Be a guide, not a “fixer”

Your job isn’t to “fix” anyone’s grief or provide the perfect answers. Your role is to create a safe place for people to discuss and process their grief with others who understand. Think of yourself as a guide and lean into the GriefShare materials for help. The videos and materials do the heavy lifting by supporting your participants’ healing journey over time—you’re there to encourage discussion, ask thoughtful questions, and make room for each person’s unique experience.

Facilitators aren’t expected to have all the answers. Instead, facilitators are a “caring presence,” helping participants see connections between their own experiences and the content from the videos. Simply by being there and listening, you’re giving your group what they truly need.

Model transparent, respectful communication

One of the most powerful things you can do as a facilitator is to set the tone by being open and respectful. While we encourage you to listen much more than you talk, when you do share, keep it simple and real. This encourages others to open up, knowing they won’t feel pressured or judged. Creating this kind of environment is a huge part of helping participants feel safe enough to share honestly.

Allow silence to do its work

Silence can feel awkward, but it’s often exactly what participants need. You might want to rush to fill the void, but wait. Silence can help participants process what they are feeling and find the right words. 

Wait at least 5–10 seconds before stepping in, then try one of these strategies:
  • Rephrase the question.
  • Offer additional context.
  • Allow them the space to respond. (Let them know that silence is okay and is an important part of processing grief!)
  • Ask if the topic being discussed is more tender or challenging.
  • Acknowledge that it is a challenging question and let it go.

When leading your group, remember that you aren’t there to teach. So don’t see the silence as an opportunity to offer insights or advice. The GriefShare videos share valuable lessons, and you are there to walk alongside participants as they take it in and process their grief. Your focus is not for them to listen to you, but to create a safe place for them to share.

Encourage balanced participation

Managing group dynamics can be tricky, especially when emotions run high. Here are a few ways to keep things balanced:

  • Gently guide talkative members: If someone’s taking up too much space talking, thank that person for sharing and invite others to speak. Saying something like “I’d love to hear other perspectives on this” can help.
  • Support overwhelmed participants: Some group members might need extra encouragement or reassurance. If you have a co-facilitator, let him or her step in and offer individual support when needed.
  • Redirect with sensitivity: If the discussion veers off-topic, gently guide it back with a phrase like “This is a helpful thought; let’s bring it back to our main focus today.” 

Recruit a co-facilitator for added support

Sometimes a participant might get overwhelmed with emotion during discussion. Or a person may have a pressing need or story to share that would take up too much of the group time (and may not be on-topic for that week). This is when two leaders can be extremely beneficial. One leader can offer one-on-one support for the participant while the other keeps the discussion going. 

Having multiple facilitators also brings different perspectives to the table and provides a backup in case one leader can’t make it. If you have co-facilitators, lean on them! We encourage you to read How Many Facilitators Does My Group Need? and Finding & Recruiting a Ministry Team (LeaderZone login required). 

Talk with a coach & use the available resources

Remember that you are never alone as a GriefShare leader. You can always ask for help or use the resources available for guidance.

At the end of the day, remember that your role is to facilitate, not to teach. Trust that the GriefShare videos and materials will lead participants through their journey. Focus instead on being a comforting presence and providing a safe place for people in grief. This is where their healing begins.

 

 
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