The anniversary of a loved one’s death can feel like a tidal wave. Whether it’s been one year or 20, that date may bring emotions you didn’t expect. You may feel dread leading up to the day or a wave of grief that crashes into your ordinary routine.
But this day doesn’t have to be just a day of sadness. It can become a meaningful time to remember your loved one, celebrate who they were, and see how God is still with you—right in the middle of your loss.
Below are 11 ideas to help you mark the day in a way that feels right for you. You don’t have to do all of them—just one or two that reflect your heart and your healing journey.
Many people find comfort in simply taking time alone to remember.
“I usually just take time out during my day and try to get to myself … and just reflect about our relationship together and the good things.” Jemma
You might sit with your journal, look through a photo album, sit outside, listen to music, or light a candle. Consider using the Reflections guided journal from GriefShare, which offers questions and prompts to help you process your memories and your grief at your own pace.
A favorite trail, a coffee shop they loved, a park, a sporting event, their gravesite—being in a place that reminds you of them can help you feel closer.
“We take a trip to the cemetery, put flowers on the grave, do something for somebody else … because we can’t be with him.” Ron L. Deal, marriage and family therapist, whose son died
This simple act can be both grounding and healing.
Balloon releases offer a tangible way to “send” your love and thoughts upward.
“I get a mylar balloon … and I write her a letter. I let go of the balloon and watch it until it’s out of sight. It helps in my healing.” Debi
You can include others by having them write messages too, turning it into a shared ritual of release and remembrance.
Anniversary days can stir up memories—and sharing stories of your loved one with others can bring comfort. You could also ask family and friends to send you their own stories and memories.
“I took the kids to the hotel where Scott and I started our marriage. … I read from his Bible and told them the story of his salvation.” Carla
Even children can benefit from hearing stories that help keep their loved one’s legacy alive.
Cook their favorite meal. Watch their favorite movie. Play their favorite game. Go fishing or hiking. Visit, buy flowers for, or serve someone in need.
“Sometimes we’ll buy a gift he would have liked that we can enjoy together as a family.” Marne
This helps transform grief into gratitude—remembering what you loved about them by enjoying what they loved.
Mark the day by comforting others who are hurting. Send a text, write a note, or make a phone call. Invite someone to a GriefShare support group or share helpful online resources with them.
“I try to remember to send cards to people and call them … saying I haven’t forgotten and that I’m praying for you.” Jeannine
This small act can mean the world to someone else and may help you too.
Photo albums, memory boxes, scrapbooks, quilts, gardens—creative expressions can preserve your loved one’s legacy in a meaningful, lasting way.
One expert suggests:
“Each person can be creative in his or her own way. … A flower or vegetable garden can be planted and provide a year-round opportunity for memories.” Judy
Choose something that brings joy to your remembering.
Grief can be exhausting. Give yourself space to simply be.
“Sometimes we would just call the whole day off, not work. My wife and I would be together and just talk about Melissa.” Dave Branon, author
Clearing your schedule may allow you to rest, reflect, and reset.
One way to honor your loved one is to carry their kindness forward.
“Helping another child … because we can’t be with him.” Ron L. Deal, marriage and family therapist, whose son died
Consider volunteering, donating, or simply performing a small act of kindness in their name. One woman volunteered to read stories to groups of children at the library in remembrance of her daughter.
Letting your feelings out can be powerful—and prayer is one way to do that.
“I wrote a letter to God. I wrote a letter to Sandy … and just slowly turned them over to God and let Him take it.” Stephen
God welcomes your honesty. He meets you in the raw places.
Sometimes, you may not want to do anything elaborate—and that’s okay.
“The anniversary of Paul’s death is hard … I don’t like to have tons of plans to do something else on that day.” Vaneetha Risner, author
Honor the day in a way that feels true to you. Even doing nothing special is a way to acknowledge it.
If this day feels overwhelming, know you’re not alone. Others have walked this road. And there is hope—real hope—in Christ.
GriefShare groups are designed to help you move toward healing, one step at a time, with people who truly understand. You’ll receive practical guidance, biblical truth, and caring community.
“The relief has come by slowly continuing to keep moving, one step at a time.” Cindy Bultema, author, whose fiancé died
You can make it through this anniversary. We’re here to help you remember well—and grieve with hope.