When Mike Flenz agreed to help facilitate a GriefShare group, he thought of others. He didn’t expect how much healing he would find in the process himself.
“I assumed I was ‘done’ with my healing,” he admits. “But every week I drive home thinking, Wow, I learned something. I’m still growing.”
After leading GriefShare for several years, Mike continues to be surprised by how much God teaches and restores him as he helps others.
Mike’s journey into leadership began, like many, in deep personal pain. After losing his wife, Anita, he joined a local GriefShare group and completed two full 13-week cycles. When invited to lead, he hesitated—unsure whether he was truly “ready.”
“I didn’t know if I could handle the emotional weight of leading,” he says. “Would it prove too much? Would it stir up more pain?”
But Mike’s experience tells a different story.
“I found out that leading doesn’t reopen the wound, it actually helps it heal.”
For many, giving back becomes a vital part of the healing journey. But timing matters. If you’re wondering whether you’re ready, know that there’s no pressure to jump in before you’re truly prepared. You might still need more time to process your grief, and that’s okay.
If you’re unsure, take a moment to assess your healing. Consider taking our grief progress assessment to help you determine if now is the right time to serve.
You may find, like Mike, that helping others becomes part of your own restoration.
Now, after leading GriefShare more than a dozen times, Mike continues to experience unexpected growth—emotionally and spiritually.
“Even now, I learn something every single session,” he says. “Sometimes it’s from the video, sometimes it’s from something a participant shares. Either way, I always come away with a deeper understanding.”
Leading has helped Mike become more compassionate, more present, and more in tune with the needs of those around him. It’s also given him structure and purpose during retirement.
“It keeps me sharp,” he shares. “It gives me something to look forward to—and it reminds me that God’s not done with me yet.”
Watch Mike share his story and how GriefShare has blessed him.
Mike doesn’t sugarcoat the experience. “There are definitely tough nights,” he says. “People share heavy stuff. But I don’t carry it alone. God’s in the room.”
He also leans on the structure of the GriefShare program itself, which makes it easy to facilitate well without feeling overwhelmed. “There are no expectations to serve as a counselor,” he says. “You just guide the process, ask a few questions, and let the Holy Spirit work.”
And in the process of guiding others, healing happens in unexpected ways.
“It’s incredibly fulfilling,” Mike says. “Sometimes I think I get more out of it than the participants do.”
Wondering if you’re ready or if leading will reopen wounds you’ve tried to close? Like Mike, you may find that stepping into leadership is precisely what your healing journey needs next.
It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about showing up with a willing heart and trusting God to use your story.
“This whole program has changed my life,” Mike says. “As long as I’m able, I’ll continue to show up.”
Let leading serve as part of your healing. Take the next step and see how God can use your story. Download the Quick Start Guide to help you determine if you’re ready to join the GriefShare leader community.
Maybe you’ve lost a spouse, a parent, a child, or a dear friend. Perhaps you’re still grieving. And like Mike, you wonder if there’s still purpose ahead.
If someone you loved shaped your life with kindness, compassion, or faith, what better way to honor them than to carry their legacy forward?
Perfection isn’t required. You don’t have to have all the answers. All you need is a heart that’s willing to serve, and a story that reminds others they’re not alone.
What legacy could you carry forward? Honor a loved one by starting your own GriefShare group. Start your GriefShare group today.