It happens with some frequency, although we don’t often hear about it unless it happens with well-known people. It happened in 2003 with Johnny and June Carter Cash. And it happened again in 2018 with George H. W. Bush and Barbara Bush. With each of these couples, after one spouse died, the other one died a short time later. June Carter Cash died in May 2003, and then Johnny Cash died in September. Barbara Bush died in April 2018, and then President Bush died in November.
This phenomenon happens enough that it has a label: the “widowhood effect.” It refers to the increased risk of dying among widows and widowers a few months after their spouses have died, compared to married people of their age. Some studies report that men have a greater risk of dying after their spouses have died than women do. The widowhood effect has been reported in numerous countries since the 1960s.
Although large population studies reveal the existence of the widowhood effect, we aren’t sure exactly how it happens. There are a number of different possibilities, and they might actually work together in different ways.
Neglecting self-care: Given the stresses associated with a loved one's declining health and death, surviving spouses might not be as careful about taking care of themselves. They might neglect adequate sleep, eating balanced and nutritious meals, or getting enough exercise. Or they might engage in unhealthy behaviors like drinking too much alcohol.
Suffering the effects of grief: Grief is a significant stressor after the death of a loved one. It often has physical effects such as:
Missing accountability from the spouse: Married people tend to take fewer risks and engage in healthier behaviors because of the influence and input from their spouses. That might change once the spouse has died.
Dealing with reduced income: When a spouse who was contributing to household income dies, there’s less money to spend. Going to the doctor might get placed lower on a person’s list of necessary expenses, and that could result in health conditions worsening.
Having fewer social contacts: The loss of a spouse can mean a significant rift in a social network, especially if the spouse who died was the one who maintained the social calendar. Fewer opportunities for social contacts can lead to struggles with loneliness. According to the Surgeon General, loneliness is often associated with increased likelihood of depression, anxiety, infections, hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and heart problems.
Suffering from “broken heart syndrome”: There is a possibility, especially among women over 50 years old, that the stress of widowhood directly affects the heart’s ability to pump blood effectively. This can result in symptoms similar to a heart attack, such as:
Because this condition occurs under extreme stress, such as the death of a loved one, it has been labeled the “broken heart syndrome.”
Broken heart syndrome is actually a stress-induced weakening of the chamber of the heart that pumps blood throughout the body. Excessive amounts of stress hormones can disrupt the heart’s ability to function regularly, and so blood is not pumped adequately to the rest of the body.
Broken heart syndrome usually isn’t fatal, but it can be, especially if it’s untreated in people with a preexisting heart problem. In these cases, it could result in “dying of a broken heart.”
Although broken heart syndrome is not usually life-threatening, its symptoms are similar to a heart attack, and so it’s best to consult a doctor if you experience these symptoms.
Because it’s likely that the widowhood effect is related to loneliness and to neglecting a healthy lifestyle, there are two ways to counter it:
Talk to caring, empathetic people: There will be time you’ll want to be by yourself. That’s okay. But you also should reach out regularly to people who care about you. Phone calls, going out to eat, taking a walk. Connecting with people in a meaningful way will combat loneliness. In addition to support from family and friends, you might also consider getting involved with people who share some interest. A support group, like GriefShare, is another good option. With persistent struggles with loneliness and depression or anxiety, consulting professional help might be needed. However, keep in mind that a professional relationship is time-limited and narrow in its purpose. It can’t be a substitute for other relationships.
Follow the “DEER” Principle: Tending to your physical health will keep your body strong, which will help you ward off both infection and many chronic diseases. A helpful acronym to remember for this purpose is “DEER”:
Although no one can control everything that impinges on his or her life, these basic lifestyle practices put you in the best position to deal with your loss and figure out what the next phase of your life might look like.