The holidays often come wrapped in lights, music, and celebration—but if you’re grieving the death of a loved one, this season can feel overwhelming, isolating, and painfully different. In fact, it may feel impossible to face this season, or maybe you’re wishing you could just hibernate until January.
Either way, if you’re navigating this season with a heavy heart, it’s so important to know that you’re not alone. Grief has a way of magnifying everything—especially during times that once held deep meaning and tradition. But even in the middle of your loss, peace is possible. It won’t look like it did before, but it can still be real. Below are gentle, practical steps you can take to find moments of calm, hope, and even light this holiday season.
1. Acknowledge and honor your grief
The first step toward finding peace this season is giving yourself permission to feel everything. There’s no “right” way to grieve, and emotions may come in waves—sadness, anger, guilt, or even numbness. No matter what you’re feeling, it’s important to acknowledge that feeling; each emotion is understandable and valid and holds an important part in the healing process.
Tip: Julie E. Lowe, counselor, talks about the dangers of hiding your feelings: “Pretending nothing’s happened and trying to act completely normal is hurtful to yourself and also to your loved ones who maybe don’t want to pretend. You want to be able to acknowledge the loss, the missing person, and be able to talk about it.” Before attending a gathering, it’s important to set aside time to reflect. You might journal, light a candle in honor of your loved one, or simply sit with your feelings. Naming your emotions can help release some of their weight and prepare you to talk about them with others.
2. Redefine traditions in a way that supports your healing
The thought of engaging in holiday traditions without your loved one may feel unbearable. That’s okay. You can choose which traditions to keep, adjust, or let go of entirely this year. Susan Lutz, counselor, shares a new tradition her mom and sister started after her dad died: “Instead of finding a beautiful Christmas tree, which was always a high priority with my dad, they decided that was too painful. So they went on Christmas Eve Day and brought home a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree—it was a way of trying to do something different. If we had just tried to pretend that everything was the same, I think it would have been ashes in our mouth. We just couldn’t do it.”
Tip: Consider creating a new ritual to honor your loved one—like making their favorite dish, hanging a special ornament, or donating to a special cause in their name. These simple acts can bring comfort and honor your loved one’s memory.
3. Take care of your body and mind
Grief is exhausting—physically, mentally, and emotionally. And the added demands of the holidays can leave you depleted. Now more than ever, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
Tip: Make a plan for your well-being. Rest when you need to. Eat nourishing meals. Limit alcohol and sugar, which can intensify emotional lows. Take gentle walks or do something creative. Even small acts of care can help you feel more peaceful and able to withstand stress.
4. Set boundaries and lower expectations
You may not have the energy to attend every gathering, send every card, or maintain every tradition—and that’s okay. Say “no” when you need to. The people who love you will understand.
Tip: If you choose to attend a gathering, practice a few responses to common questions in advance so you’re not caught off guard. Dr. Ramon Presson shares this idea: “It’s not being impolite to say ‘I really appreciate your interest and your concern, but I’d really rather not talk about it’ and then change the subject by shifting the focus onto them simply by asking them a question that they would be interested in.”
5. Reach out for support
Grief can feel lonely, especially when others around you seem to be celebrating. But you don’t have to walk through this season alone. There are people who understand, and spaces where you can be supported.
Tip: Attend a GriefShare Surviving the Holidays event. These onetime gatherings offer practical tools, heartfelt insights, and the comfort of connecting with others who are grieving during the holidays. You’ll walk away with new perspectives and a Survival Guide filled with encouragement.
6. Use proven, trusted resources to navigate the season
GriefShare also offers a Surviving the Holidays book—a practical, faith-based resource filled with strategies to help you cope. It provides insights on handling social events, family gatherings, traditions, and spiritual struggles during this time.
Tip: Grab your copy of Survival Guide: Navigating the Holidays After Loss and set aside time each day to read and reflect. The tools in the book can help you prepare emotionally, spiritually, and practically for what’s ahead.
You are not alone
Grieving during the holidays is one of life’s hardest challenges—but you don’t have to face it by yourself. There is hope, even here. And there is peace, even now.
Attending a GriefShare Surviving the Holidays event or reading Survival Guide: Navigating the Holidays After Loss can help you take your next step toward healing. These resources are created by people who understand grief and are designed to meet you with compassion and practical help right where you are. For more sustained support, join a 13-week GriefShare group meeting near you or online.
You may not have chosen this path, but you are not walking it alone. Peace is possible—one step at a time.
